7 Signs He’s Serious About You

Oh, the excitement after meeting a guy you can really connect with on a first date! You instantly call your friend after to say, “I think I’ve met someone special!” You eagerly wait for his text or call. Then, days turn into a week. Disappointment sets in. “I thought we really connected,” you say to your friend.

In another scenario, confused boys blow hot and cold for months, leaving you utterly puzzled about what you guys are, whether he’s serious or not, but when you meet, at least for you, it feels magical. Then days of radio silence ensue until the next text comes in again like nothing ever happened.

Have you encountered situations like that, and you just want to know with absolute certainty whether the man you’re interested in is serious about you?

Here’re 7 signs to watch out for if he is really interested:
1. He is consistent
2. He checks up on you
3. He will ask you out (in advance)
4. He will want to know you
5. He makes future plans with you
6. He’s generous (with you)
7. He introduces you to his world

1. He is consistent

Anyone who is sincere about getting to know you will always be consistent. This means no, he will not blow hot and cold like the unpredictable Australian weather. He will be a person who shows up at – End of the story.

Do not make excuses for someone you like based on a few dates and conversations; The second you accept less than stellar behavior, the message you’re giving the other party is: I’m okay that you’re treating me less. So, of course, he will continue doing so.

If you’re in it to find a serious partnership, why bother dealing with people who treat you less than what you deserve?

Flip-flopping should be reserved exclusively for pancakes on a Sunday morning. If anyone shows you that they’re unreliable, show them the door.

2. He checks up on you

It’s a wonderfully warm feeling to see a text pop up on your phone, “Thinking of you. How’s your day?”

A man who is interested in you will want to know what you’re up to, what problems you’re facing at work etc. He will always check-in. If he doesn’t, check it out.

3. He will ask you out (in advance)

Yes, some people are spontaneous. Yet, there’s a rather fine line between embracing spontaneity and ensuring you’re his priority.

Simply put, if he’s interested in you and respects your time, he will book your time in advance.

This behavior should again be consistent, or at least the majority of the time. Spontaneity sometimes can be fun! For example, someone who often makes plans ahead texts you one morning and says, “I woke up missing you and would love to see you tonight if you’re free. If not, that’s cool too.” By all means, go out and enjoy yourself!

4. He will want to know you

A man interested in you will want to know everything about you. He wouldn’t be silent on a date; he’d be the person asking you questions to understand you as a person, your childhood, whether you love your job, etc.

Watch for warning signs though for someone who seems only interested in rattling on about themselves endlessly (narcissist alert!). A friend of mine came to me gushing about this guy she was talking to until 3 am in the morning, and I asked, “What did you guys mostly talk about?” Her answer was, “Hmm. Come to think of it, everything’s about him.” She proceeded to waste another 2 months before realizing what I’ve pointed out from Day 1.

If you’re unsure about a potential partner, run it by a trusted friend. You’d usually get your answer.

5. He makes future plans with you

Does the man you’re dating make future plans with you? For example, ‘hey should we see a movie next week?’ Or ‘hey I have a wedding coming up, would you like to be my plus one?’

Be observant. If he’s skittish making plans with you whenever you mention something coming up, that’s not a good sign.

6. He’s generous (with you)

Generosity is a very positive sign in a relationship. Is he generous with both his time and money, or is he constantly insisting for you pay your half of dinner right down to the cent? Does he take care of you the way you want to be cared for?

Evaluate these qualities, for they are important in ensuring that a partnership can go the long run.

7. He introduces you to his world

If you’re important to him, you’d feel seen. He’d want you to meet his friends, and people who are close to him because he’d want to know you can all get along. In short, you won’t remain invisible.

Meeting someone’s family and friends is always a pretty promising sign.
If you’re reading this article, my guess is you want some answers. Use the above as a benchmark, and allow your gut to also weigh in. Do not be swayed by how much you fancy a person – Infatuation will inevitably fade over time when it’s not sustained, and sustaining attraction takes work from both parties.

Imagine yourself as a builder. Every day, you’re at the construction site placing one brick on top of the other. Ask yourself, is that person there doing the work with you?

If he’s not, say goodbye to freeloaders. Free that space for someone better, someone who’d more than willingly (and very effortlessly) meet you where you are in life. That’s when the real magic happens.

You can also read about our posts on relationship building activities for couples.