Pros and Cons of Living With The In-Laws
It's never right or wrong when you come to this topic "should I live with my in-laws after married".
Some couples may feel that living with the in-laws is a hassle and will have lots of drama and therefore to avoid such, they chose to live by themselves.
Whereas some will live with the in-laws (for long or temporary) while waiting for the house they applied for to be ready to live in. I'm one of the "some" who lived with the in-laws.Below are the pros and cons of living with your in-laws:
- When living with the in-laws they will regard you as their child because they love and treat you the same as how they treat their biological son/daughter. You gained new parents.
- You can talk to them and treat them like a friend whenever you have problems and they give good advice (IF they are the good in-laws)
- Helping you with house chores, preparing dishes for you and your partner after a long day at work, taking good care of your children
- You have a house to stay in and your husband and you do not have to spend money on renting or buying a property!
- Your in-law might feel jealous over how their son/daughter treats you and do a comparison. That's when they will show their unhappiness towards you and lashing out their anger at you.
- Your in-law might expect you to clean the house, make dishes, and takes care of your children yourself (if you are the daughter in law). In other words saying, they regard you as a SLAVE.
- Your in-law might affect your marriage because the in-laws will poison their son/daughter with words by saying negative things about you and couples will start quarreling.
- Your in-law might affect your mental health because you will not be able to vent your anger on them and tend to bottle it up to yourself (Neither can you share with your partner about how you feel because THEY WILL ALWAYS SIDE THEIR PARENTS)
Initially, I was happy and blessed that there's no mother in law involved as my husband's mother has passed on for many years. I was happy back then.
The pros of living with the in-laws are actually when you live with them, there will be someone helping you to look after your children when you have to work (I'm not saying all in-laws will BUT at least many of them willingly to).
You gained another parent who will listen to you and advise you when you faced problems (Okay, this will only happen to some in-laws. If you have such in-laws, you better tell yourself that you have married to a gem's family!)
As time goes by, I am never happy anymore. My father in law had given me many problems such as picking on me, gave me the sulky look whenever I talked to him and accused me of things I have never done.
After all, I'm just a daughter in law and not his daughter. There were so many times I argued with my husband over my father in law, life has become terrible for me and I even questioned myself, am I regretting that I got married?
In my mind, my in-law is a monster. He's so manipulative that he can manipulate my husband and made him believed him (my in-law) more than he believed what I said.
I couldn't take it anymore and I chose to flee my in law's place after living together for 3 months. For those 3 months, I finally got to see mine in the law's true colors. I've been telling my husband how great his acting skills were and he should receive an "Oscar Award".
I moved back to live with my parents and I felt much relieved and happier. In fact, much healthier in terms of mental state. For the first few months, I dislike my in-law so much because he has caused my marriage to be unhappy. After giving it a thought, hate doesn't help to resolve the problem.
To resolve the problem is to sit down and talk to him face to face and tell him how I feel. Which I did. Things turn out positively well and also has been adjusted. Least I know that his attitude towards me has changed, which is something I'm happy about.Conclusion
Often couples do not dare to voice out how they feel about their in-laws face to face and created much unhappiness and also lead a disastrous life.
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Gina believes a key to a successful marriage is to manage both partner's expectation. Engage positively towards each other.