Why Do People Have So Many Kids

As a parent of 1 child and finding it hard to cope, I often wonder why do people have so many kids?

I asked some people and here is what they said about having many children.

• Perception that Children complete the Marriage

In a Pew Research Center survey, 41% of adults said that children are very important for a successful marriage. While reduced over the year, the perception that children complete the marriage and childbearing process complete a women have been documented among parents, grandparents and other family members of a young women.

• Poor people believe 1 successful child can bring them out of poverty.

The poor people hoped and believe 1 successful child among their children can bring the whole family out of poverty. Even if the children failed, there are government supports like the food stamp program, formerly called the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, that provides monthly benefits to low-income Americans.

In 2017, SNAP provided $6 billion worth of food assistance to 47 million people nationwide. USDA provide an average benefit of $133 per person per month to aid in the cost of living. Some states like New York City provide much more cash aid to their residents. 

• Tendency to have more children after 1st child

The first child is the hardest because there are many concerns and family planning involved. After the first child, couples tend to have more children because

1. It is easier to manage children with similar age gap. They can share or pass down their learning tools or toys instead of needing to buy new toys
2. Child birth is either too painful to wait again. Some career women would rather bear their children in sequence and then focus on their career.
3. Child birth is easier. On the other end, some women believed that child birth (especially normal child birth instead of Cesarean child birth) is easier since one child had already been delivered through the same channel.

• Desired for a male heir

In some culture, especial Asian, there is a pressure from the couple's parent that they must give birth to at least a boy. This boy will be the heir and succeeded the business and continued the legacy of their surname. 

Why people have so many children and how they cope

A mother of four says having a large family is "the best thing ever". Hannah Thomson, 34, has spent seven-and a half years being pregnant, eight years breastfeeding and apart from a short three month break, she’s been changing nappies since she was 21. She now lives in a house full of toddlers and teenagers and says it’s one of her greatest achievements.

She told HuffPost UK: "I think I am probably very lucky because my kids are really well behaved and we don't fight over toys or anything like that. We're just a big happy family."

Thomson, from Northampton, admits it hasn't always been easy though. In fact, she says when she had her first child, aged 19, she struggled to bond with him.

But things changed when she became pregnant again, aged 24. "I felt much better about myself," she recalls. "The second pregnancy was easier and I bonded with my son straight away."

Her third pregnancy came at age 27, and she says she found bonding with her daughter even harder. However, she did find herself feeling happier and more confident during her fourth pregnancy. And Thomson believes this might explain why she has four children.

But what do other parents say about the joys of parenting? Here, HuffPost UK asked some mothers for their thoughts:-

If you have a lot of kids, you could end up with a bunch of little siblings. You might find yourself spending most of your time taking care of them. Or you could end up with older children who take over your house and make life difficult for you.

What is considered too many kids

There is no hard and fast number of children that one person should have. However, there are some guidelines that parents can follow to determine what is "too many." Here are three things to consider when deciding whether it's best to have one or two kids:

1. Your family size

The most important factor is determining whether you want to have just one child or several. If you're planning on having multiple children, you'll probably want to start thinking about how much space you'll need once those babies come along. You'll need enough room to accommodate your growing family.

2. Finances

If you decide to go ahead and have another kid, you'll need to make sure you've got the financial resources to support both you and your baby. A larger home will cost more money, and you won't be able to afford it unless you plan accordingly.

3. Health

Having more than one child puts a strain on your body. Not only do you have to deal with pregnancy, labor and delivery, but you'll also have to take care of yourself while recovering. Having a second child could also put stress on your relationship with your partner.

What is the happiest family size?

While the ideal family size depends on the financial situation, having 2 children is widely considered to be the optimal number.  

In the United States, nearly half of adults consider two to be the ideal number of children, according to Gallup polls, with three as the next most popular option, preferred by 26 percent. Two is the favorite across Europe, too.

Ashley Larsen Gibby, a Ph.D. student in sociology and demography at Penn State, notes that these numbers come with some disclaimers. “While a lot of [the] evidence points to two children being optimal, I would be hesitant to make that claim or generalize it past Western populations,” she wrote to me in an email. “Having the ‘normative’ number of children is likely met with more support both socially and institutionally. Therefore, perhaps two is optimal in places where two is considered the norm. However, if the norm changed, I think the answer to your question would change as well.”

United Nations says poverty is the leading cause of death among children under five years old. In fact, one out of every three deaths of children under age 5 is due to malnutrition. And according to UNICEF, about half of those deaths occur within 24 hours of birth.

In some countries, there is even a belief that having too many children can bring prosperity. For example, in India, families with six or seven children are seen as wealthy because they have enough food. But in other places like Nepal, women are often pressured into early marriage and childbirth.

Forced early marriages happen when a younger girl doesn't want to get married and her parents force her to do it. They think she'll be happier if she gets married off quickly. This is especially true in areas where girls don't go to school.

Lack of education leads to forced child marriages. Girls who aren't educated are less likely to know what's good for them. So they're more vulnerable to being tricked into getting married.

A big family is considered a "blessing" in many cultures. Parents might feel like they've done something great if they give birth to lots of children.

But for many people, having a large number of children isn't always a happy thing. Sometimes, it can lead to problems.