How to Navigate Dating Apps If You’re Looking for A Serious Relationship
According to a 2020 report from the Pew Research Center, only 15% of single daters are interested in a serious relationship.
If you’re looking for a serious relationship, you’d likely face the dilemma of having to sift through dozens of profiles just to find the right person in dating apps. The plethora of potential matches available to you now with just a single swipe is insane!
Here are some tips that can help you navigate this online world:
Type of Dating Apps
Before we get into the nitty-gritty, let’s talk briefly about the range of apps out there.
- OkCupid and Match.com were amongst the pioneers in the online dating sites industry before Tinder came along and dominated the dating scene at one point.
- We also have strong competitors like Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel, Happn, and probably the latest kid on the block, Hinge.
Of all the apps mentioned, Bumble and Hinge are probably your best bets for serious dating. Bumble functions such that once there is a match, it is up to the female to first initiate conversation in 24 hours.
- Both Bumble and Hinge are fairly easy to use, and they do require a basic number of photos to be uploaded, and the majority of folks who are on both apps tend to make an effort to write a proper bio. A display of effort in this case is vital to determining who are serious, and weeding out those who aren’t.
Building A Profile For Serious Relationship
- Be upfront with what you’re looking for
There are many out there who will probably encourage you to hide your intentions, play the game. But if you’re a serious dater looking for someone genuine, you have to start by being genuine first, in order to attract those who are interested in long-term relationships.
State clearly what you’re looking for. This will give others a sense of your stage of life as well, and whether they’re on the same page in a committed relationship.
Within Bumble, there’s an option for you to even pay to set stricter parameters so as to weed out anyone who didn’t declare that they’re looking for a relationship. While this helps you save time, the cost might be something to consider.
- Photo Selection For Attracting Serious Match
Think of the photo gallery as a story book – Each should tell a different story to make it compelling. Variety works to attract more like-minded people! For example, you can upload a photo where you’re more dolled up for an event, one of everyday life for accurate representation, and one where you’re engaged in a hobby / exciting event i.e. skydiving, wakeboarding etc.
- Photos that show off your lovely smile, and anything that shows your personality
- Photos that show your hobbies/ pets are great as they may serve as easy topics for breaking the ice!
- Do not upload a photo of you with a huge group of people, much less make it the first photo people see when they chance upon your profile. It’s hard to tell who’s who. It’s a competitive market – People decide whether to scroll further based on that first picture. You don’t want to muck that up.
- No blurred pictures.
- No pictures where you cropped your exes off, please. People can tell. It also does beg the question: Do you not have photos of yourself alone?
- No dated pictures of you from years ago.
- If you’ve used a photo of you taking a picture of yourself in the bathroom, one’s enough.
- No wedding pictures, please. This seems self-explanatory, but you’d be surprised that people still do that sometimes.
No dick pics, or nudes, please. Especially if you’re here to look for a serious relationship, because that would give others the wrong impression, not to mention you might be banned by the app.
- Get your dating profile verified (if the app has that function)
This is a quick and easy way to instantly add credibility to your profile. There are catfishes and fake profiles out there, and we want to establish trust early on to attract a potential partner.
Be Selective In Potential Matches
You can afford to be very selective during this process. After all, you are choosing your potential life partner. Evaluate people based on that – What is it you find attractive in a person? If you know yourself well enough, what kind of person do you need?
Red Flags to Look Out For
Sometimes not everything or everyone is as what they've declared. Such is the dating world and online dating experience.
- Where there are good, genuine people, there are also many black sheeps and con artists, and sometimes, there are those who are merely unsure of who they are and what they want.
- Ask questions, and then pay attention to what they’re saying. This action will allow you to filter people accordingly and find your perfect match.
For example, you might come across a rather bare profile, which suggests a lack of effort and possibly a person who’s less serious about looking for someone to go the long run with. If you choose to match with this person, after pleasantries, perhaps ask very nicely “what’re you looking for on this app?”
If the person gives you an answer along the lines of, “Oh I’m open to anything. If someone comes along, I’m open to a relationship too.”
Or you might come across someone on Travel Mode (Bumble has this feature). That likely means the person is either passing through the country or they paid to pin drop in your country. Some are looking for tour guides, while a few may be looking to relocate here someday. Either way, the ball’s now in your court.
Decide based on the answers you receive. Do not waste time with people who are looking for any less.
Everything aside, have fun! Dating can be really exciting too, especially in the early stages. Enjoy the innocent flirtations, the lovely dinners, and walks, and the stimulating and meaningful conversation starter. You never know, your lifelong partner might just be around the corner!
Efforts have been made to get the information as accurate and updated as possible. If you found any incorrect information with credible source, please send it via the contact us form
Deborah Choo loves discussing relationships, platonic or not, as that remains at the heart of human existence. She draws upon learnings from couples’ counselling, and continues to celebrate an incredible journey of growth.