How to Prepare Yourself for Marriage as A Woman

Envision a healthy marriage where two people play like kids, talk like best friends, and never forget to remind each other to have fun in life. How could be prepared to be a married woman? 

Ways to be prepared for marriage as a woman are

• Get to know yourself well
• Gain dating experience
• Learn forgiveness
• Travel solo at least once
• Be financially independent
• Deal with past emotional baggage
• Surround yourself with a strong support system
• Be your own biggest supporter
• Manage Your Expectations

While everyone’s preoccupied with evaluating whether others are right for us though, perhaps the question we need to ask today is: Have we become the right person for ourselves for a future marriage? 

Before you take that step from ‘me’ to ‘us’, consider the following to prepare yourself for a healthy marriage:

Get to Know Yourself Well

Take the time to get to know yourself before committing to someone else – There’s no hurry, no timeline on this journey that’s yours, and yours alone. 

We learn more about ourselves through every life experience, every friendship, and every romantic relationship, and all this information gives us better insights as to who we are, and what we need. 

Being aware of your attachment styles, your personality type, and your conflict resolution style is greatly beneficial in helping you to also narrow down who is most suited to you for a successful marriage.

Gain Dating Experience

People in happy marriages tend to have had experience dating before they learned about themselves and what they truly want and/or need in a life partner. 

Put yourself out there while you are still a single woman! Acquire experience dating – Talk to different people, and find out what works for your future relationships. 

Learn Forgiveness

Forgiveness might not be an easy lesson to learn, but it is undoubtedly one of the most important practical skills that will serve you well in your marriage.

The most successful relationships involve people who are quick to forgive and do not keep scores, people who choose love above all else. Learn to be that person, so that one day, when the right person comes along, you already know how to love.

Travel Solo At Least Once

A friend once told me, to travel at least once solo before I hit 30. It turned out to be great advice. 

Traveling widely is one thing, travelling as a single person is quite another. Solo travel no longer allows you the luxury of relying on others for planning logistics, looking up weather forecasts, plotting your route, etc. You are forced to become a very resourceful person. In return, you have absolute freedom and independence, and the joy of keeping your own company. Give it a go if you haven’t! It’s worth it.

Be Financially Independent 

This probably goes without saying – Finances will be one of the major topics to discuss with your partner, and if one party comes with staggering debts, that could potentially put a strain on the marriage before it even begins. 

Give yourself the best shot at marriage. Ideally, enter the marriage with a degree of financial independence already, and necessary insurance plans all in place, to lessen the burden on your partner. It will give peace of mind if both of you have retirement savings.

Deal With Past Emotional Baggage 

The less baggage we bring into a partnership, the higher chance we have of allowing the marriage to flourish and succeed. Of course, this is not mean that we need to be perfect beings before allowing ourselves to love, and find love. Not at all. 

If you’re aware of any emotional baggage though, anything you can improve on to allow you to grow into the best version of yourself, then do the work. This will be the best investment you’ll make in life, for it will pay off in the future.

Surround Yourself with A Strong Support System

Friendships arguably last longer than romantic relationships, and it is possible in friendships first that we’ve all learned people skills in life. 

Surround yourself with good people – People who celebrate your progress, your growth, your achievements. It might be easy to get lost in a relationship, especially at the beginning, but always make time for the people who care about you. 

Be Your Own Biggest Supporter 

The most important relationship you’d ever cultivate in life is the relationship with yourself. 

Especially for givers, learn to be your biggest supporter. That will help you tide through anything in life.

We must first be individually whole and complete, to enter a happy union. 

Manage Your Expectations

We tend to hear of people (typically women) who tend to think things will change drastically after marriage, that the person would miraculously become the husband you desire.

There are no fairy tales in real life, not in the idealistic Disney sense – That some man would swoop in and save us. Setting yourself up to expect one would be the biggest disservice to yourself and your partner.

The best advice on marriage I’ve ever heard was that of a 90-year-old grandfather saying that by the end of his marriage, he felt like he was married to 9 different women, and he loved every one of them.

Expect changes. Expect different versions of your partner to show up as he grows through life with you. Constantly adjust to each other with only the greatest mutual respect, love, and kindness for one another, and always communicate.

When in a relationship with the right partner, marriage can be a wonderful thing indeed. 

Perhaps then, the most beautiful fairy tale of all will be the one you’ll tell people by the time you turn 90 when you’re sitting at the table with your partner, still laughing, still teasing each other, behaving like kids, sharing the tale of how you’ve won life together.