How To Tell A Person's True Colors
It's always a "honeymoon" period during dating, especially for the first 6 months of the relationship.
I'm not a love guru but I'm here to share with you what types of man/woman you should avoid when dating (we are talking about long term relationship since this person is the one you'll be marrying to in the future).
There's man/woman with different personalities and I named it P.O.A (Possessive.Obsessive.Aggresive). Nope, we're not talking about mathematics now (Principal Of Accounts) but we're talking about types of personality in a person.
How To Spot A Person's True Colors:
- They have few friends and YOU are so-called their "Only Friend".
- Their friends will never say a good thing about them.
- Their attitude towards you and how they treat others will be different. (Will treat you good and treat others bad because you are their boyfriend/girlfriend).
Let's all start with the bad experience I had with different men I've dated over the years. Of course, I've also met good ones in my life, not all are bad.
First Relationship with Yoong
Start with this guy whom I met when I was 18. I was just an innocent teenager back then and know nothing about a relationship. All I know is that I want a good boyfriend and an everlasting relationship. I'll name this guy as Yoong. Yoong was a year younger than me and we started pretty well during the first 3 months of the relationship. He was caring, sweet (ONLY TOWARDS ME), and funny.
That 3 month was memorable until the 4th month onwards, everything became hell. Yoong showed his true colors.
Earlier on I mentioned that he was sweet only towards me and what I meant by that was whenever he got me little gifts like pastries or anything edible, he only got it ONE. Nothing more than one. He's very stingy and he did not even think of getting three more of it so I can give to my parents and my brother too (If you love your partner, you should love their family too). When we went to lunch for chicken rice, we took away all the ones with meat and left those with bones and chicken blood for me! This wasn't the worst part yet. The worst part was he expected me to listen and obey whatever he said! Very possessive and scary as well. He would stop me from what I had decided to wear when I'm going on date with him, ordering food for me without asking me what I would like to eat and telling me who I can friend and have to unfriend on my social media! I knew I can't stand such man either I want to marry someone like this in the future, I initiated a break up with him. I cut off contact with such a man for good.Second Relationship with Joos
The second relationship I had was when I was 21 years old. I thought that maybe it's really time to settle down and hopefully I can meet the right guy at this age. So I met this guy whom I met on social media and he was looking presentable and we clicked the first time we met. Soon we were in a relationship. Let's named this man Joos.
As usual, the first few months were going smoothly and then something happened. I noticed that Joos was acting weirdly such as kept turning his head back and looking behind if someone was following us. Right on my mind was thinking maybe he's being protective and just wanted to keep us safe and that's why he reacted that way, but no.
Joos began to text me every second (until I couldn't breathe), check on my location where I'm at, and stalked me on social media! I was terrified by him because of how obsessive he was. I couldn't imagine myself married to such a man in the future and what if one day he implants a tracking device on my phone? No way, that's way too scary! I knew it myself that I've to distance away from this guy and so, I initiated the break up AGAIN. (But for the sake of my happiness, I have to do it, right?)Third relationship with Nan
The third relationship happened when I was 23 years old. I met this man on some dating app and we agreed to meet up. He seems like a shy person at first but soon when he got to know me more, he talked a lot. Let's named this guy Nan. Nan seems different from the previous two guys I had dated before and he was more mature in his thinking and allowed me to have my freedom.
Six months passed and Nan showed his true colors (Half a year and his true colors was out).
He was mature, yes, but he was very aggressive. He would snatch my phone away from me and read the text from anyone who texted me and flared up for no reason and picked a fight with me. Whenever he's hungry and the food wasn't served to him yet, he will then shouted at the food server and it was so embarrassing because eyes were staring at you in the restaurant. He has a serious anger management problem and I always feel that he needs help. Whenever I brought up that he needs help, he will be so furious. ONCE AGAIN, I initiated the breakup. I knew if I were to married to such man in the future, because of his anger management problem, he might put his hands on me and I might get hurt.
Not just the men, some women are like this too. I do have female friends who are being possessive, obsessive, and aggressive. If you are with someone who has all these three personalities mentioned, you better run for your life! Before you say "I do" to someone, it is really important to check on his/her personality first. Do not rush things. I repeat, DO NOT RUSH THINGS.
It won't take too long to spot someone's true colors especially if you plan to go on a holiday, traveling abroad with him/her, that's when you get to see their true colors. Because you will be staying together for 24/7. It's never too late to say "No" to your partner if you do not feel comfortable being together with them. Better to say "No" now then after married, you say "I Regret".
The good news is NOT ALL MAN/WOMAN are bad. There are good ones even they have flaws, they are willing to change. The good ones will treat you right and help you become a better person.
Good luck with finding it!
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Gina believes a key to a successful marriage is to manage both partner's expectation. Engage positively towards each other.