How Couples Can Create Romance & Intimacy Even After Living Together

 Falling in love isn’t hard. What’s challenging is committing to staying in love.

If you’ve been married or together for some time, and seen the ugliest of each other, how do you continuously inject romance into your lives, so you don’t lose the spark? How do you create mystery and distance when you’re living with someone you see day in, day out? How do you fall in love with each other over and over again?

Be Honest About Your Feeling

The first step towards building intimacy between couples is being honest about how you feel. If you’re not feeling romantic or intimate, then you need to address it. You may have been together long enough to know what feels good to you, but if you haven’t talked about it before, now is the time to do so. Don’t beat around the bush; just say what you mean.

Check In With Each Other

Couples often fall very naturally into a pattern of checking in with each other, so this tip might be the easiest to do of the lot! (You can breathe a sigh of relief in getting one down.)

A simple “how’s your day?” could go a long way. Then, genuinely listen. Making an effort to be involved in their lives is key.

By checking in with your partner, you’re essentially saying: No matter how busy my day gets, you remain at the forefront of my mind.

Anticipate Each Other’s Needs

Just because you’ve settled comfortably in a relationship doesn’t mean the effort stops.

If your lover’s stressed out at work, and you know he/she doesn’t have time to grab food when rushing work, you could secretly order a meal delivery for them. Or if you know that they’re thinking of mopping the floor tonight, get home ahead of them to accomplish the task.

These actions add an element of surprise and is exceptionally effective in showing him/her how much you care about them. This gesture will be appreciated by all, especially by those whose love language is acts of service.

Plan Weekly Dates

It’s easy to think that you see your spouse pretty much 24/7, so why do we need to plan dates?

According to a report published by The National Marriage Project surveying over 1,600 married couples, pairs who dedicated time for at least one weekly date night were 3.5 times more likely to report feeling “very happy”.

When given date nights, the predicted probability of divorce dropped by 7 percent for women, and 11 percent for men.

Couples were also 3.5 more likely to report above-than-average sexual satisfaction, higher levels of communication, and 2.5 times stronger feelings of dedication.

Date nights set the stage for purposeful, meaningful conversations to take place, allowing for deep, intentional connections. This does offer assurances to your significant other as well, that you’ll always be there, and you’ll always have their backs, akin to a comrade in the trenches.

Take Some Me Time

As counterintuitive as this sounds, before you can bring your best to a partnership, you need to be your best.

If this means taking a day off to head to the spa or meeting up with your friends for a night out, take that time to recharge. You might even miss your partner so much, that you’d rush home to give him/her a big hug.

When you’re trying to build intimacy, give each other space. Don’t expect your partner to read your mind or know exactly what you want. Instead, let them know where they stand in your relationship. Tell them what you appreciate about them, and ask them questions about their day.

Show Appreciation

It’s easy to take the people closest to you for granted. Yet, they’re also the people you need to show the most love to.

It could be something as simple as dropping a text to say, “Thank you for cooking yesterday. I enjoyed the meal so much.” You can also show your appreciation in other ways by sending them flowers to their office or leaving a cute handwritten card on their desk for when they get home.

Learn Something New Together

Shared experiences are the bedrock of every relationship. They create moments of belonging and encourage more trust and intimacy to flourish.

Learning something new together places you both on the same beginner’s level, allowing for curiosity and your inner children to come out and play! You might even see a different side to the person you thought you knew so well, and that adds yet another layer of knowledge and understanding.

There are many different activities you can try, including cooking, dancing, hiking, and traveling. Whatever you choose, make sure you do it with your significant other. Doing fun stuff together will help you remember why you fell in love in the first place.

Never Stop Flirting

Never stop flirting with your eternal date. After all, that’s the individual you chose to be attracted to – mentally, emotionally, and physically – for the rest of your life.

You can even invite each other to talk about sex outside of the bedroom. Share past experiences that were particularly arousing for you, and chat openly about fantasies, etc!

Where the physical space is limited, our imaginative capacities are infinite. We can imagine and create a world beyond what’s in front of us.

Share Secrets

Sharing secrets is a way to build trust and intimacy. When you share something personal, it shows that you care about someone else. Sharing secrets helps you connect on a deeper level. So tell him/her about your dreams, fears, hopes, and aspirations. Let them know who you really are.

Keep Communication Open

Communication is the foundation of any relationship. If you want to keep your connection strong, open communication is key. Ask your partner how he/she is doing, and listen carefully to his/her answers. Also, try to avoid arguing over small issues. Arguments tend to break down relationships, so instead focus on solving problems together.

Always communicate to learn things about each other, and never stop talking with your best friend.

After all, as French author, Andre Maurois said, “A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.”